My patient in kindergarten at the age of three years, a period he had some exchanges with a erotic companion, during which the two children they manipulate their genitals and had oral sex. We write here the first brand of enjoyment that comes, as a question, a few years later.
primary schools is in fact taken from the doubt of being a homosexual. For a while 'dragging uncertainty, until he decides to talk about family, first to his mother, then her father. The response of the father has a definite effect in calming her worries. She tells him that his experiences are very common, which make them all at that age, that had happened to him, and who do not want affatto dire che sia omosessuale.
Così rassicurato il paziente non si occupa più del problema, traversa l’adolescenza avendo rapporti normali e soddisfacenti con le donne fino al momento in cui, a vent’anni, incontra una ragazza di cui s’innamora. La relazione dura un anno, ma è un anno tormentato e lacerato dal dubbio: vorrebbe, dice, ancora divertirsi, tenere aperto l’orizzonte del possibile sull’universo femminile e rimanere disponibile a nuovi incontri. Al tempo stesso non vorrebbe lasciare questa donna con la quale si trova particolarmente bene. Si dibatte insomma in un dilemma, e dobbiamo notare qui un progressivo slittamento del possibile verso l’inevitabile. Gli incontri possibili lo aspirano in modo quasi ineluttabile, portandolo a rovinare la relazione reale da cui traeva appagamento, giacché con il prolungarsi dei suoi tentennamenti sarà alla fine la ragazza a lasciarlo.
Due o tre anni dopo un episodio segna l’esordio dei suoi attacchi di panico. È capodanno e si trova a trascorrerlo in una località di mare con alcuni amici. Tra questi c’erano un ragazzo suo coetaneo, che considera il suo amico più intimo, e una ragazza con la quale, qualche tempo prima, aveva avuto una relazione poi interrottasi. Dopo la festa comincia e non sentirsi bene. Attribuisce il suo stato al cibo e alle abbondanti bevute, ma da quel momento sente crescere l’angoscia ogni volta che è di fronte al cibo. Poi sviluppa in particolare un’angoscia prima dei viaggi, e ha degli attacchi di panico, che sono quel che lo spinge a chiedere aiuto.
Quando lo interrogo per avere dei particolari sulla festa di capodanno, mi dice che la sua ex ragazza, presente quella sera, era piuttosto instabile nei rapporti e tendenzialmente promiscua. Quella notte aveva fatto la corte al suo amico ed era finita a letto con lui, cosa che lo aveva molto disturbato. L’esordio degli attacchi di panico coincide dunque con una situazione che risveglia in lui un fantasma omosessuale attraverso il quale si sente evidentemente messo a confronto con un godimento angosciante. Infatti, mi dice quasi tangenzialmente, ultimamente le sue ansie si sono focalizzate proprio sul timore di essere omosessuale. Gli domando da when he started having this fear and I replied that everything started from a television interview where he was a rather well known in the entertainment world. The interviewer had asked him some questions about his sex life and he said that until the age of thirty years he had always liked women. From a certain point in time was aware of feeling attraction for men, and from there it has been recognized as a homosexual and has accordingly begun to have sex with men.
This revelation upsets my patient know that you can move from a homosexual to a heterosexual life - and the TV character is unassailable testimony of this truth - it destabilizes. We find here too the same inevitable as possible by sliding the time of his first love. The very idea that homosexuals can become heterosexual after being re-opens the door to the response of the father was firmly closed at the time of his first concerns.
begins to do some experiments. Pay attention to men who are commonly regarded as attractive by the media, and trying to figure out if it finds itself traces of erotic interest. Along this dangerous coast, approaching at times enough to be reached by a wave breaking, and drawing back in terror. Meanwhile he continued to have relations with women, but this not enough to reassure him. There is in fact no empirical evidence that it can to protect him from doubt to be homosexual. For this comes from me as if in search of an expert can give an answer based on science, and then some, an expert, in other words, able to affirm, on another level, the answer given to him by his father at the time.
Once the appointment is with a book on cognitive disorders obsessive compulsive disorder that seems to speak to him just because he has a chapter obsession for homosexuality, which exhibits all the necessary techniques of reassurance. Of course I explained that these talks have not reassured at all. Rationally - he says - knows she is not homosexual, but the problem is not knowing that the freedom from fear of being obsessive, however. Also realizes full well that any assurance it would not be credible, and that the response that his father had worked at the time would not be repeatable.
dreams at one point on which the car is traveling does not respond well to commands, it loses power. It is at a crossroads, the road is slippery and full of snow, he fears that there might be an accident.
If we take the train metaphor that Lacan used in the postscript to the Seminar XI, put to work for this patient would follow the track matte letter of obsessive symptoms in which the enjoyment homosexual figure, to make it less inconsistent. But my dream or patient does not track or rail, dreams of a slippery path on which it fears could skid. Whenever the subject comes close to the subject of homosexuality get up defensive barriers insurmountable. He tells me one day that has nothing against homosexuals, as he has nothing against the homeless, but it certainly would not want to be a bum. Furthermore, in order to consult the signs of enjoyment should be a position open as he supposed to know that the possibility of a question. At the moment, there is no room for it. The position I put to the expert is calling for an interest to which he already knows he can not believe, and there are other levers.
In this position, a move that I have is to play * the appearance of the expert, the masked man in Spring Awakening, pulls you out of the grave, and in which Lacan recognizes the name of the Father as to appearance excellence.
After the patient is the father appealed to the first awakening of his worries, and now relies on the same location, although sapendola burned, an expert who solves things similarly.
course, not within the paternalistic role of reassurance in a way that would not have any credibility for him. Nor do I play in ensuring that the expert based on conclusive scientific studies that he highlights the features not belong to that type of homosexual.
I say simply that it continues to do well in his experiments to see if it attracts men, and that could also happen to a real feeling of attraction. This does not oblige him to change the course of his sex life. The fact that we feel attraction for a man not imply the need to go to bed with men than with women. Break the bond of reporting requirements in the bed of what seemed possible sliding towards the inevitable. He takes this as illumination: caress can not seem scary, if it is forced to implement in reality what the ghosts represent. It can drive along the shore and let the wave lapping if she feels that the ocean did not swallow. It was in this case to occupy the position that the subject gave me to use the appearance not so imaginary, as he asked me in the direction of removal, erasing what seemed unbearable, but to get a real effect, allowing different approach to the enjoyment.
Marco Focchi
